Challenges I've Faced Over the Last 3 Months

• Writing my concert reports for music appreciation
• Driving on 85 every morning
• Waking up at 0630 so often
• Forcing myself to go to computer science club
• Coordinating my University Success final
• Convincing Nye of the importance of nutrition
• Getting A's on all of my math tests

     My brain screamed at me for the entire thirty-minute drive to turn around as I made my way to my first computer science club meeting. I worried that no one would show up and the drive wouldn't be worth it, or that I wouldn't like the people who did show up, or they wouldn't like me. I had to continuously remind myself that all of those concerns were unfounded and irrelevant. There was no reason to suspect any of that be true or even likely, and even if the meeting turned out that way then at least I would know.

     While feeling awkward upon arriving, I surprised myself with how well I overcame my anxiety to break the ice. I spend so much energy worrying about everything going wrong, but I seem to have the ability to pull confidence and competence from thin air when the time comes. Despite my nervousness, I greeted all of the strangers warmly and asked their names and majors as if I wasn't panicking inside.

     I still go through a similar test of character every week when I get the email for the next club meeting. I question the value of going each time and if I really want to. Maintaining the small social relationships I've developed so far has made the meetings worthwhile. I know if I want to keep them I need to keep going back, even though the drive kills me.

    So far I've made it to every computer science club meeting, although I have skipped out on a couple of the math club meetings. They do math games in which I feel I wouldn't competitive considering I haven't taken Calculus yet. Perhaps those fears are unfounded too. Maybe enough people don't show up that they just goof off for a couple hours, or maybe the math isn't as intensive as I think. If only I was as good at imagining things going well as I can imagine them going poorly, I'd probably enjoy more success.